Would you believe that sweet, innocent, happy boy up there could be terrible? Well, he is. He is deeply entrenched in the "terrible two's" and he's not even two until next month. Within the past couple of days, he has turned into what Jake loving calls the "spawn of satan". You know it's serious if Jake admits Dallin's being difficult. Dallin throws countless temper tantrums, yells "no" at me, refuses to do simple things like take his dishes to the sink or take his snow boots off when we come inside, and many other infuriating things. Today, for example, he didn't want to get out of his pj's. I had to physically force him into an outfit he had picked out himself, while he was squirming and yelling at me the entire time. And then tonight, he fought me to get INTO his pj's. My arms literally ache from the effort of changing his clothes. What makes his moments of insanity even harder is that he has moments throughout the day when he is an absolute angel. He ate his lunch and his dinner all by himself with no encouragement or help from me, he went right to sleep at nap time and took a long nap, and happily cleaned up his toys before bed tonight. And he laughed at my silliness as if I'm the funniest mom in the world!
I, unfortunately, have a very short fuse. I have had a very hard time controlling my temper, even though that only escalates the situation and makes him even harder to deal with. I feel so out of control sometimes. I want to calmly whisper to him when we are in a hurry to leave, instead of yelling at him that he needs to put his shoes on NOW. I want to be patient and loving to calm his temper tantrums over getting only one cookie. But I am really struggling! I'm not writing this post for people to tell me that I really am a great mom inspite of it all. I really just need to vent, and always appreciate sympathy and advice. And the truth is, I LOVE the kid! I cried and prayed for a baby for so long before Dallin was born. I love being able to stay home with him, and watch every development, every smile, every delight in something new. I've never loved any one this much in this way. I want more than anything to constantly make him happy, though I know that's not good for him in the long run. But he is just so difficult right now. Please tell me this will all end, not, as Jake says, that we've already screwed ourselves by having another one!
And he's off - Ugh
4 months ago
8 comments:
Hold on tight, it is going to be a wild ride when the baby comes! But, it WILL end, he will morph back into the sweet little boy you know and treasure.
I have found that if you give up a little bit of control in those situations, you actually gain control. What harm is it really going to do if he sleeps in his PJ's? If it really bothers you, change him when he is asleep.
I use a lot of phrases like, "OK, that is your choice if you want to sleep in your clothes, but it isn't comfortable for me when I sleep in my clothes."
Good luck, I'm going through a lot of the same things with Mason right now.
Oh yes, yes. I clearly remember the Thanksgiving 2 years ago where Seth refused to let me change his messy diaper and get him dressed. I laid him down and got the diaper tabs undone, while he was screaming and kicking me in the stomach. The next thing I knew, he grabbed the front of the diaper and pulled it above his head, smearing poop over his entire body. Daron had to come hold his arms while I used my legs to hold Seth's to wipe him off. It's amazing how strong those little bodies are!
It does end. Although, it starts over again with your next 2 year old. Jonah will not allow anyone else to put his shoes on and gets them on the wrong feet half the time which hurts him but he is so stubborn he won't even let me help switch them.
My only advice, remember that he is a little boy. Daron and I thought Seth understood so much because he spoke so well and expected him to act very grown up. It has been easier to be patient with Jonah just because we now realize how young he really is. It's just the time when they learn how to be independant and where they also learn a lot of the boundries you have for them. You'll be glad he has learned how to do so many things on his own when you have a new baby. Hang in there!
{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}}
Sounds like Dallin is very spirited and intense. Those can be very good traits -- later on. But right now, it's just the hardest thing you can imagine, right. Been there. Recently even, and Aaron is 8 1/2.
I wholeheartedly will recommend the book Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. This book was our LIFESAVER.
I took Aaron to his pediatrician when he was 4 1/2, and crying, told the man that something just wasn't "right", and "HELP". The doctor rattled on about a sticker chart (which Aaron had never responded to) but the nurse called me a day later and talked to me for half an hour about this book. It became our bible - and helped us understand Aaron so much better.
Good luck - you're doing the hardest work in the world!
And get this - getting dressed/changing clothes has always been a huge trigger for Aaron's mood to sour. Mornings were horrific for everyone. About 2 months ago, I had him put his clothes on for the next day at bedtime (when his mood is superb), and he slept in them. The next morning, he got out of bed, happy as could be that he didn't have to get dressed. It was a miracle. He's rumpled, but the mornings are calm, quiet and I don't have to physically get him dressed while he's fighting me.
I have a million stories of our struggles with Aaron. But the more you struggle, the more you love. Every small improvement, every better day, helps you see the miracles of raising these spirited and amazing kids. Cam's always been so easy breezy and Aaron, not so much. But my heart just aches with love for him and with all my hopes for him.
Sorry so much about me - I just feel for ya. Good luck!!!!
I wish I could tell you that it's going to get better, but I'm afraid that would be a lie. For me, the 3s are when it really gets tough. At age 2, these sweet little spirits just want to make their own decisions. But by 3, they learn to manipulate, and that makes me crazy!
The good news is that they get more funny. The more they try to learn how to reason, and get better at articulating their reasoning, the funnier they become. There is nothing like a 2/3 year old explaining life lessons. I would say that as long as you are still having those good moments throughout the day with Dallin, you are doing great! Do your best to try to cherish those moments. That's one thing about a 2-year-old: If you don't like their mood, wait a couple of minutes and it will change.
Good luck! We love you and we feel for you! "This, too, shall pass." The only advice I would give is to decide what you can live with/without, and then start to let things go.
Now...if only I can take my own advice! :)
Good luck. It sounds rough. I have really mellowed (and in turn the kids have benefitted) with the more children we have if that's any hope for your one on the way.
Although Paige is not quite two yet so we'll see when I'm in the knee deeps of it again how I do.
Although my kids are in their teens the tantrums still come, instead of the kicking and screaming, it becomes the silent treatment and they choose to stay in thier rooms for hours listening to music. I'd say in someways it does get better!!! Hang in there Cutie!!!
Can you really blame him? I'd rather be in my pj's all day! It's ok, pj's in a store when you're as cute as Dalin, is so totally acceptable.
Last month all Jaren and Tanner wanted to wear was their Halloween costumes (yes, still) So after a while, I just let them. It was too much of a battle to argue with my little 3 and 5 year olds. And you'd think I'd have a better hold on them! :) You are doing great. Just keep telling yourself "I love my child, I love my child, I love my child..." :)
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