Yesterday morning, Abbie decided she was done nursing. She just wouldn't do it. I tried until she got mad, then gave her a bottle, which she happily ate as if it was what she wanted all along. I tried again this morning, and it was the same story. She was down to nursing just once a day, but it's hard to express how much I'm going to miss this stage in her life. I know that it's hard and discouraging for some women, but I truly love nursing. I love holding a tiny new baby so close, and I love it even more with an older baby because they won't hold still and snuggle any other time. I love being able to nurture my children in a way no one else can. I love the thought of completely sustaining a human life that I created. I love the chance to think, ponder, or just rest in the peace and quiet that comes with nursing. I guess part of the reason I'm so saddened by not nursing any more is because it means Abbie's not a tiny baby any more. I don't want another baby that turns into a toddler and then a child right now, I want a baby that stays a baby. How do I arrange that?
And now some thoughts on Mommyhood. A few weeks ago, a friend shared a conversation she had with her mother, who was from a family of 11 children and who'd had 9 kids herself. My friend's mom said she was amazed at all the women today who find motherhood "overwhelming". This got me thinking. AM I overwhelmed with motherhood? Frustrated, sometimes. Tired, certainly. Faced with a never-ending list of errands, appointments, and activities that aren't for me, of course. But overwhelmed? I'm proud to say, I don't think so! Getting used to kids, first one then two, was certainly an adjustment. Motherhood is still very hard, and sometimes I feel like the only one that struggles with my kids. Time to quit comparing myself to other's blogs, I guess! But for the most part, I feel like I'm handling this. And lately, now that Abbie's sleeping through the night, I've been enjoying my kids and my days, rather than just surviving. I've also been trying to find some time for myself and not let my kids be an excuse of why I don't/can't/ won't do something (part of an overall goal of mine to just let go and relax!). Just last week, I let a friend watch my kids so I could go to the temple with the youth, even though Jake was out of town. Abbie had to get woken up to come home, and Dallin went to bed really late, but it wasn't the end of the world! I'm finally letting motherhood teach me to be more flexible.
Now the question is: do I post this and share all these personal thoughts? Here goes nothing. . .
And he's off - Ugh
4 months ago
8 comments:
very interesting Amber....I think that sometimes Mom's over-schedule themselves and their children SO much that they become overwhelmed. So many moms think their kids have to do piano, and dance, and soccer, and the violin....no wonder they'd get overwhelmed. And don't you think that most of the we may just say we're overwhelmed, as another word for stressed at the very moment? I think it's perfectly normal to be overwhelmed for a few days in a row, or even during a particularly time of life, that's life. It's so often all about our attitudes....which much of the time, I need to change. :)
Wow, that was a bunch of random thoughts right in a row...sorry!
So sorry about the nursing. Paige was my first one to "wean herself" so I totally know what you are talking about.
Honestly, I am completely overwhelmed sometimes. It is usually during those times when we are struggling with one of our children, and I have absolutely no idea what else to try - as if I've exhausted all my options. It usually lasts a couple of weeks, and sometimes longer, until we find something that works or that child's situation gets better. And although I am excited and trying to be very positive about this change in our life, sometimes I almost start hyperventilating at the mere thought of having twins in addition to the current three - and it hasn't even happened yet. I just keep thinking about all the people out there that have had twins (or even triplets - YIKES) that are able to handle it, and I try to have more faith.
But (big BUT), most of the time I enjoy the majority of my day. And, as my sister says, it is a good thing that my kids are so dang funny. Those little sayings or hugs and kisses seem to make all those overwhelming/stressed out/exhausted feelings disappear.
I'm so glad that you are enjoying your kids so much. They are simply adorable, and in my opinion, you are entering the "Angel Stage" with Abbie. The next year is one of my favorites (about 8-18 months)! I appreciate it more and more with each child.
Thanks for your thoughts.
I'm glad you posted this Amber. Jayden just gave up nursing as well, and as you know, he's no cuddler! It's reassuring for me to know that I'm not the only one who stresses out. It's funny that you compare yourself to other mothers... I'm always in awe of my super mother sisters-in-law!
As stressful as being a mom is, I'm grateful that at the end of the day when I've had time to settle down a little, all I can think about is how funny and adorable Jayden is. And you've got some incredibly adorable kids yourself! Thanks for your support to me, and for all your good advice. I think you're the reason Jayden sleeps through the night!
It's always good to share, especially about the most important rolls in our lives!
She's done? Oh man I'm sorry for your sake--And about feeling overwhelmed. Your reflection and thoughtfulness are refreshing! You're such a thinker and your kids will benefit from your smarts. Can't wait to swim on Friday.
I don't blame you for being sad about Abbie quitting nursing, I think I've been a little sad with each one, especially because they've all weaned themselves. But, someone said it already, the time you have with her now is one of my favorite times, when they are so sweet, and they sleep through the night and haven't gotten to the tantrum stage yet.
It's good to hear you say you're not overwhelmed. I don't think I am either, but sometimes the thought of adding one more kid to the mix and hearing someone else say "you've really got your hands full" at the grocery store without offering any kind of help is pretty overwhelming.
Well I think you're just awesome! You're a great mom, and a great person! I love being your cyber-BFF!! ;) we so have to get together soon...come to MO!! xoxo you're amazing!
That was a great post. It's nice to hear another mother talk so positively about nursing. It really is a great blessing for mother and child.
I understand your thoughts on being overwhelmed. The times when I've felt that way is when I have a deadline at work, which isn't very often, but my kids magically become incredibly high maintenance. I struggle because although they are the most important people, I have to get something done for work.
I think that your feeling that you need to relax is a sign that you're a super mom. Seriously. You care so much about raising your kids right and making sure that their needs, then your husbands needs are met, that you are willing to take the backseat. I try and relax, but sometimes it's hard. Being a multi-tasking queen/ over achiever makes it difficult to slow down at time. :-)
You're an amazing mom and I'm glad I have you as a friend.
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