IT'S A BEAUTIFUL LIFE: $#@%$&#*&@!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

$#@%$&#*&@!

Earlier this week, I came downstairs to discover a very quiet, very naughty Abigail "painting" her toenails. In the process, my glamor girl had dumped an ENTIRE bottle of BLUE nail polish all over my tan carpet and walls and on her clothes! I was furious! I deposited the culprit in the sink and Jake and I spent the next TWO HOURS scrubbing the nail polish out of the carpet (yes, Jake was home at the time of the incident but asleep upstairs). We used every cleaner in the house, and finally removed the stain in the carpet using nail polish remover, water, windex, peroxide, carpet cleaner and a whole lot of elbow grease and tears. We gave up on the wall when the cleaners started removing the paint, and the wall still needs to be repainted.

Now I know you're asking yourselves, what was I, the fearless mother, doing while my daughter destroyed the carpet, the wall, and my morning? I was reheating Dallin's breakfast, which he had refused to eat 45 minutes before! Parenthood is slowly making me crazy, one day at a time. . :)

2 comments:

Emily said...: Slowly??? Mine is more of a fast-paced deterioration that is taking me on a direct path to my own padded room.

Sorry! Been there. (Seriously, a few months ago. Except it was purple polish on my parents carpet that my dad had just cleaned a few weeks prior.) I SO feel your pain!

For the record, I like to actually say the swear words out loud. It was awfully nice of you to put them in code. :-); December 28, 2009 at 8:13 PM
Liz said...: I was definitely not wondering what you were doing. Kids can get into trouble really fast, and once they can play by themselves we are no longer hovering over their every move. At least you got it out of the carpet. Bravo!; January 11, 2010 at 10:16 PM

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Laughter, the Best Medicine!

04/11 Abbie sings "I Love to see the Temple" but instead of saying "while I am young" she says "while yum, yum, yum."
12/10 I was telling Dallin I remember him when he was so small he was shorter than the kitchen table. He shook his head and said, "It was good times."
11/10 Dallin- "Mom, if I hugged you as hard as I could, your boobs would pop off!"
11/10 Dallin (in a very serious, thoughrful voice), "Mom, you can call me son if you want to."
10/10 Abbie- "This root beer is fuzzy!"
7/10 Dallin told me he wished Daddy wasn't old enough to work, so he could just stay home and work on the computer like I do! Apparently, I'm not old enough to have a "real" job!
6/10 Dallin calls "sprinkles" "sprinklers". He told me he wanted a donut with sprinklers!
6/10 Dallin yelled "oly-oxygen-free" during freeze tag!"
3/10 While Abbie was getting dressed today she pointed to her belly button and called it her "belly butt"!
12/09 Dallin is giving Abbie "goodness" lessons- lessons on how to behave. I'm not sure he's qualified. . .
11/09 Abbie loves telling knock-knock "jokes" which go like this: "knock-knock" "who's there?" "Ab-ee!"
11/09 Dallin will be starting Primary in January (he's the oldest in his class becasue his b-day is the beginning of January) and his nursery teacher started taking the kids into Primary during singing time so they can get used to it. When I told Dallin that he got to go sing in Primary, he asked, "If I don't sing good will they make me leave?" He was worried they would kick him out if he didn't sing well enough!
8/09 Dallin was "selling" ice cream (wood chips) at the park. I asked Dallin how much an ice cream was and he said, "15 bucks." "Wow, that's expensive!" I said. Then Dallin said in his best bargaining voice, "Ok, 14 bucks!"
1/09 Dallin is playing with his Star Wars characters, and I just overheard him say," What the heck! This is ridicrilous!"
1/09 Abbie loves me to jump out from behind doors and walls and "suprise" her and to crawl around chasing her, and then she giggles uncontrollably. Her laugh is so infectious!!
11/08 This morning we woke up to about 6 inches of snow, and it kept snowing all day. Jake said, "We got a new President, and hell froze over."
10/08 Dallin calls daytime "light time". In the morning, he goes over to the window and says "It's light time! That means we can GET UP!!!"
10/08 Dallin wanted to help me give Abbie her bottle. While we were feeding her I said, "babies are alot of work, huh?" Dallin looked at me for awhile, then said, "babies don't go to work!"
Dallin was playing with pirates at my in-laws house. While he played, he sang to them, in the tune of "Book of Mormon Stories": Given this land, if they live, Kill, Kill, Kill!
We try to read scriptures with Dallin every night before bed. He doesn't always listen, and I'm never sure how much he gets out of it. But the other day he told me one of his dinosaurs was "very, very mean." I said, "he is?" And Dallin told me, "he's very wicked." I guess he's listening after all!
03/08 On Easter, Jake's sister Janille's baby was blessed. Right before the prayer, when everyone was quiet, Dallin pointed to Janille's father-in-law, who's in his sixties, and shouted, "That's President Hinkley!"
Dallin and I went to the library last week, and the chinchillas were out "exercising" in their little balls. When the librarian put them away, Dallin got to pet them. I asked him today what he got to touch at the library, and he said "chinchillas" perfectly. Then I asked him what they felt like, expecting him to say soft and fluffy. Instead, he looked at me kinda weird and said, "like chinchillas!"
Jake has gas alot (you'll see why I so unpolitely threw that out in a second). The other day, when he 'passed gas' in front of Dallin, Jake pointed at me and said, "Mommy tooted!" Now, every time Jake 'breaks wind' Dallin points at me and says, "Mommy tooted!" Today Dallin 'fluffed' himself and blamed it on me!
Grocery shopping today, I told Dallin we only had one thing left to get and then we'd go home. He looked at me and answered, very seriously, "pay first." I'm glad I have my toddler to keep me honest!
Jake has been playing in a volleyball tournament this weekend, and Dallin and I went to cheer him on Saturday. In between games, Dallin loved to chase his ball on the court and pretend to spike it. The volleyball net is about 4 1/2 feet off the ground at the bottom, but every time Dallin would go under the net to get his ball, he would duck!
I try to compliment and praise Dallin as much as possible, because the kid tries my patience beyond measure, but I don't want to always be yelling at him for the bad stuff he does. So I try to emphasize the positive! I praise him a lot for eating well. This morning, as I was eating my yogurt, he looked into the cup and asked, "Almost all done?" And I said yes. To which he enthusiastically replied, "Good job, Mommy!"
We're trying to teach Dallin to say the blessing at dinner. As most of you know, he talks remarkably well for his age, so we thought he'd easily catch on and be praying by himself in no time. The first time we were praying with him, however, Jake whispered "say Heavenly Father," and Dallin shouted "Holla!"