IT'S A BEAUTIFUL LIFE: Moving On

Monday, November 8, 2010

Moving On

Last Sunday I went back to the hospital to have my blood retested. As anticipated, my levels were going down, indicating a miscarriage.

I had to wait till Monday to talk to the nurse about the results and my options. The whole weekend felt like waiting for a car accident to happen- I just wanted to hear the worst and move on to fixing it.

On Monday, the nurse confirmed that I had a miscarriage. So we scheduled the D&C for Wednesday. Again, waiting.

When I found out Friday there was a problem, I couldn’t face the reality that I’d lose the baby. I couldn’t give up the idea of a spring “due date”. I didn’t think I could face trying to get pregnant again, all the while being reminded of my loss. Monday was another hard day, and though I dreaded telling all our friends and family the sad news and reliving the experience and over and over again, I’m glad I decided to tell everyone. I had so much love and support, especially from my sweet husband. More than anything, the love, phone calls, meals people brought, offers to watch the kids, and hugs are what helped me get through this experience.

Now the surgery is over, and I’m looking forward to moving forward. I’m looking forward to feeling normal again, and to spending my time with these two blessings:

3 comments:

Tim Gooch said...: I am so sorry Amber. Shi told me she saw this and she was heartbroken for you guys. We will be up there right after for Christmas over New Years and hope to see you guys and get together.; November 9, 2010 at 10:13 PM
Unknown said...: I'm so glad you are on the up and up!; November 10, 2010 at 9:28 PM
Liz said...: I am so sorry Amber! I haven't been looking at blogs and didn't know. I hope you're doing okay. I'd love to see you when you have some free time.; December 3, 2010 at 9:28 PM

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Laughter, the Best Medicine!

04/11 Abbie sings "I Love to see the Temple" but instead of saying "while I am young" she says "while yum, yum, yum."
12/10 I was telling Dallin I remember him when he was so small he was shorter than the kitchen table. He shook his head and said, "It was good times."
11/10 Dallin- "Mom, if I hugged you as hard as I could, your boobs would pop off!"
11/10 Dallin (in a very serious, thoughrful voice), "Mom, you can call me son if you want to."
10/10 Abbie- "This root beer is fuzzy!"
7/10 Dallin told me he wished Daddy wasn't old enough to work, so he could just stay home and work on the computer like I do! Apparently, I'm not old enough to have a "real" job!
6/10 Dallin calls "sprinkles" "sprinklers". He told me he wanted a donut with sprinklers!
6/10 Dallin yelled "oly-oxygen-free" during freeze tag!"
3/10 While Abbie was getting dressed today she pointed to her belly button and called it her "belly butt"!
12/09 Dallin is giving Abbie "goodness" lessons- lessons on how to behave. I'm not sure he's qualified. . .
11/09 Abbie loves telling knock-knock "jokes" which go like this: "knock-knock" "who's there?" "Ab-ee!"
11/09 Dallin will be starting Primary in January (he's the oldest in his class becasue his b-day is the beginning of January) and his nursery teacher started taking the kids into Primary during singing time so they can get used to it. When I told Dallin that he got to go sing in Primary, he asked, "If I don't sing good will they make me leave?" He was worried they would kick him out if he didn't sing well enough!
8/09 Dallin was "selling" ice cream (wood chips) at the park. I asked Dallin how much an ice cream was and he said, "15 bucks." "Wow, that's expensive!" I said. Then Dallin said in his best bargaining voice, "Ok, 14 bucks!"
1/09 Dallin is playing with his Star Wars characters, and I just overheard him say," What the heck! This is ridicrilous!"
1/09 Abbie loves me to jump out from behind doors and walls and "suprise" her and to crawl around chasing her, and then she giggles uncontrollably. Her laugh is so infectious!!
11/08 This morning we woke up to about 6 inches of snow, and it kept snowing all day. Jake said, "We got a new President, and hell froze over."
10/08 Dallin calls daytime "light time". In the morning, he goes over to the window and says "It's light time! That means we can GET UP!!!"
10/08 Dallin wanted to help me give Abbie her bottle. While we were feeding her I said, "babies are alot of work, huh?" Dallin looked at me for awhile, then said, "babies don't go to work!"
Dallin was playing with pirates at my in-laws house. While he played, he sang to them, in the tune of "Book of Mormon Stories": Given this land, if they live, Kill, Kill, Kill!
We try to read scriptures with Dallin every night before bed. He doesn't always listen, and I'm never sure how much he gets out of it. But the other day he told me one of his dinosaurs was "very, very mean." I said, "he is?" And Dallin told me, "he's very wicked." I guess he's listening after all!
03/08 On Easter, Jake's sister Janille's baby was blessed. Right before the prayer, when everyone was quiet, Dallin pointed to Janille's father-in-law, who's in his sixties, and shouted, "That's President Hinkley!"
Dallin and I went to the library last week, and the chinchillas were out "exercising" in their little balls. When the librarian put them away, Dallin got to pet them. I asked him today what he got to touch at the library, and he said "chinchillas" perfectly. Then I asked him what they felt like, expecting him to say soft and fluffy. Instead, he looked at me kinda weird and said, "like chinchillas!"
Jake has gas alot (you'll see why I so unpolitely threw that out in a second). The other day, when he 'passed gas' in front of Dallin, Jake pointed at me and said, "Mommy tooted!" Now, every time Jake 'breaks wind' Dallin points at me and says, "Mommy tooted!" Today Dallin 'fluffed' himself and blamed it on me!
Grocery shopping today, I told Dallin we only had one thing left to get and then we'd go home. He looked at me and answered, very seriously, "pay first." I'm glad I have my toddler to keep me honest!
Jake has been playing in a volleyball tournament this weekend, and Dallin and I went to cheer him on Saturday. In between games, Dallin loved to chase his ball on the court and pretend to spike it. The volleyball net is about 4 1/2 feet off the ground at the bottom, but every time Dallin would go under the net to get his ball, he would duck!
I try to compliment and praise Dallin as much as possible, because the kid tries my patience beyond measure, but I don't want to always be yelling at him for the bad stuff he does. So I try to emphasize the positive! I praise him a lot for eating well. This morning, as I was eating my yogurt, he looked into the cup and asked, "Almost all done?" And I said yes. To which he enthusiastically replied, "Good job, Mommy!"
We're trying to teach Dallin to say the blessing at dinner. As most of you know, he talks remarkably well for his age, so we thought he'd easily catch on and be praying by himself in no time. The first time we were praying with him, however, Jake whispered "say Heavenly Father," and Dallin shouted "Holla!"